I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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