I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
