come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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