i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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