I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
