I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
