How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
