if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize