Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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