"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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