Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
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