I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
