I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
