I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize