he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
