dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Randomize
