I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
