super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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