You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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