well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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