So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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