Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
