I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
