i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
