Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
