I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Panties = found
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
