Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
