Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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