I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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