The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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