his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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