Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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