you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
