i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize