Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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