he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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