I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
