Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
