You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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