Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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