i already hear my dad disowning me
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
