How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
