I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
