Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
