She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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