You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
