i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
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