A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
