When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
