"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
