Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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