youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
