So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
too bad you live with your parents still
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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