billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
