Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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