There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
