We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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