i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
did i just pee glitter
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
