Apparently you make a good broom.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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