hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize