Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
