She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
