Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
