grandma shit on top of the toilet
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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