Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
