oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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